Wendys Leftovers

can we even last through the night. We watch as the skyscrapers crumble under the burning blue sky that blinds our eyes!

Ha great song anyways.

I cant really express the sheer happiness that is my life right now. I mean I'm still super stressed about the house but I will figure that out. I have amazing friends and a lot to look foward to. Gabe is the light of my life and I love the fact that I can be open with him and share whatever it is I want to share with (i.e. my house, my friends, my feelings) things of that nature. Its really nice having someone, if you would have asked me a year ago I would'nt have said the same thing but I do enjoy being with someone who actually cares.

I dont have the money to but I do want to go on another vacation, just me and the boy by ourselves.

Its not the same.
Its deeper now.
So much more than I thought I wanted.
I wasn't looking, either were you.
There is a reason the stars put us here.
This place where we can't see too far ahead.
Now mangled into each other.
Our bones and blood, our sweat and tears.
They are there, the history is there.
I left you.
You burned me.
You're scared of me.
Im scared you'll leave.
You dont let me go and I'll give you the world,
The best way I know how.
My promise; I'll be different.
So don't give up.
Stay strong. If you want to be loved stay strong.
For me, for you, for everything you once believe in.
You believe that i would do what you fear and I know with full heart and body I cant.
I will give you what you want if you give me time.
I'll be your light.
Once you're secure I can truly be happy.
I only smile when you do.
I need this.
One day you'll need me more than you thought.
On that day I'll scream to your face "THE OnE!"

Yay getting the house back on the twentyth and nice stuff and blah blah blah. Im drunk...no but I wish I were.

This is what it feels like.
To have your hole world tumble down in front of you.
The right thing to do would be to move forward.
We have done so.
Never again do I want it to happen again.
I will never forget but I will always forgive.
Prove to me that I didnt make the wrong choice.

I gave up myspace. Its weird. I dont like it. How something so harmless makes your mind go crazy. Checking on ex's and on current love interest I cant do it anymore. There will be no more.

I'm going to skoo in AUG!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'll be working at the hospital as a patient care tech and get this start pay $11.50! fun.

I know now how i'm supposed to die. It came to me clear as day. Im going to die by elevator. Today I was in the hospital elevator and it just stopped. I was trapped for almost an hour. Yup thats how im going to die. guh yeah im bored at work.... and the inspection team is here today but im still being lazy....poop.

Went out with April and Alex last night......fucking awesome. We went to I B Gays and we just danced and danced and shot and shot and danced.....and danced. Mark was there and Jose was there and Ben was there and you were there and she was there. Im a little on edge for some reason I had a blast last night. Couldnt say I felt the same when I had to come to work at six this morning. I want major sleepy time gorilla museum when I go home.

Im still in a daze by my love life [or non-exsistant one that is] but I think this is how im starting to feel........




it's nothing but time and a face that you lose
i chose to feel it and you couldn't chose
i'll write you a postcard
i'll send you the news
from a house down the road from real love...

live through this, and you won't look back...
live through this, and you won't look back...
live through this, and you won't look back...

there's one thing i want to say, so i'll be brave
you are what i want
i gave what i gave
i'm not sorry i met you
i'm not sorry it's over
i'm not sorry there's nothing to say

So, strange. I just woke up to a phone call from a numbre I did't know. I answered thinking it was going to be something like my work or something else but it was Mr. Gibbs. Stephan Gibster [the first boyfriend]. He tells me he is in town. The funny thing is he told me that he was at safehouse, drunk and he was there at the same time I was and I didnt see him. He said that he saw me but wasn't sure if it was me or not. The funniest thing of all is when he called I heard envogue in the background, haha what a fag. We might hang out tonight, catch up. I can see the conversation now. "My girlfriend is so hot, she has the biggest tits and yeah." lol.

Twang is the word. I dunno.

Went out with Jesica last night. Sarah Hart wasn't feeling very weel she had a bad day so she didn't go out with us. I hope you feel better kiddo.

Denny's you are the DEVIL.

I forced Denielle to buy a nice dress shirt for work. [God Denielle all you can do is bitch about everything god...jerk lol jk].

I was supposed to hang out with Rachel but that didnt happen for some reason. What a whore monger.

Im kind of just writing nonsense because thats all I have to write about.

I'm kind of feeling whack today. I'm tired and got plenty of sleep. There is an issue I'm facing but I dont know how to go about facing it? I mean I guess I should be strong and deal with it but there are complications the innerworkings of whats going on in my life.

I might be going to see Justin Timbercrack and Pink in concert. I'm not really a fan of either but I get to be with my friends on my birthday. It will be fun i think. I know I'm not going to get the one true thing I want for my birthday but I keep dreaming that one of these birthdays it will happen.

Conversation is a luxury that I dont come across very often. Only with close friends and today I had very, very in depth conversation with a stranger. From first word to the last it was exciting.

So things.
I miss Rachel and April.
My jackass points have gone up. Got drunk last night. Was really rude to Denielle and Gabe. I was really drunk and shit so...it's not an excuse but just know that I'm going through a hard time right now and I'm going to say and do things that are not me. I'm not a mean, rude person. Just very emotional all the time at this point in my life. I dont think I have anything going for me here so I might join the army and get the fuck out of town.I know its just me run running away from my problems but I'd rather deal with the military than what the fuck is going down here. By the summer, if shit doesn't happen [good shit] Im joining.

Wonderful!
Just wonderful. I'm really happy April is back and happy that Rachel is moving to Tucson. I love them both soo hard in the pants it's sick.

Jai, April, Rachel, Felicia, Ryan, Allen, Jesse, and myself all went out to the Biz last night. We were all so totally fucking fucked that ever fucked a fuck.

Drinks I consumed last night:
Pre-Biz drinking- 4 Sparks [Damn you Gabe], 3 Gin and Tonics, 5 shots of SKY Vodka and 1 Tecate.
Post- Biz drinks- 1 Vodka shot, 3 Gin shots....and some water.

Back to wonderful times with friends.... So we go to the Biz and dance and I see my friend Talisa there. Now Talisa I went to middle school and a little bit of high school with and she is awesome. So it was good seeing here. She decides that I need to dance on the box. So of course I did. I almost fell off twice. Good times. So I rejoin my Too Live Crew, for a dance and I see Jesse dancing with some random lesbian it was hilarious. I proceed to dance with Ryan's straight cousin Allan. I love that guy. After I needed a break and all that good stuff, so I go have a seat with Felicia and Jesse? I think it was. Anyways, I was falling off the chairs and I could not for the life of me find the five dollar bill I had in my wallet so I could get water. Thank you Felicia for helping a brother out. We all decided we wanted to leave. Felicia, Rachel and myself led the pack out of the bar. We ran to April's car, when we see three Mo's going to the car next to us. They were doing drugs in the car next to us. "Nose candy in the Unisex!!!!!" We go home Drink some mo' and I passed the fudge out. I say best night in the entire world!!!!!!! EVER!!!!!! I need to stop drinking.....After the holidays.

Man last night was fucking criz-azy! I fucking love Rachel like a Mofo. We were wasted it was sick. We sang songs "Brass Monkey!!!"

Qoutes of the night:

"We are going to end up on the corner with condoms hanging out of our ass, well we should put the condoms in there just in case."

"We are the masters of pluralses's."

"Mines's spleenses's."

"Want to play boggle? Fuck that! Fuck boggle! Fuck them!"

"Shot Time!"

"Wes's goings's to gets's wastededed"

"Lets shoot to.....plurals!!!!"

Ok I couldn't stay away from liveJournal any longer. I hate MySPace blog HATE.

So lot of shit has happened and I'm just going to leave it at that. I dont want to talk about bad things any longer. I'm tired of feeling like shit all the time so cool things!

1. New Friends- Jesse who is pretty cool, he has the soundtrack to Josie and the Pussycats [gay] jk. Then there is Robert. He is in love with my friend Chad. Fun as shit to hang out with. We get drunk and I always end up making him give me a piggy back ride to the car. Sarah Fire, only hung out once so far but she is very wise and I would do her...her wise-ness that is.

2. Safety- April comes back this Sunday!!!! WHoot niggah we are going to be drunk all the time! Stephan is already back so I dont have to worry about him any longer.


Status- My name is still Gabe, Im turning 19 [bullshit age] on Jan. 14. I quit smoking then started again. Im single....like always and I hate it but thats the way the cookie crumbles I suppose. I still work at Grill. Thats about it.

Read the tales of the friends and I in a joint livejournal!!!!! Good fun no?

Most of my entries are drunken stories but there is some funny shit in there. Read or be eaten!!!!

Nigs.


Click to read..asshole

Happy Happy Joy Joy! not really my mother is very sick kinda. Her uterus dropped and has a small tumor on her ovaries and spread to her uterus. Sad my mom is cancerous i can touch her or be around her because Ill just get it all up inmy bussiness lol jk. Im worried and yeah scared a little.

On the other hand I was trying to make some new friends so I can add on to the great ones I already have. He's name is Steven he is a cool kid. I feel like im being a jerk to him beacause I promise to hang with him butthings just keep me busy. I also think that he wants to get to know better than a friend and im too nice to be like "hey I just want to be friends, because I hate boyfriends and dating." I dunno what to do.

Yay Last night Rew and I went to "The Crib" (gay bar) in San Fransisco. It was really really fun. I got to do what I love to do and that is dance. There were no cute guys, however it was the biggest night club I had ever been to which was cool. There was this DILf there he was just standing behind me not dancing, doing nada so although he was a DILF he was a creepy one. It was nice to get out Im getting so sick of T.V. and Internet I want to die!!! I want to hang out with my friends and work and go to school.

I feel like I'm trapped in Limbo. I dont really have anything to do and I really do anything anyways. Im really bummed about the medical insurance thing I am going through. How do they expect me to pay for getting my appendix removed? Im an 18 year old living on my own, no job, my parents are poor as shit, I'm poor as shit. I can apply for MediCAL but im moving back to tucson and if I get it that would be insurance fraud. I kinda feel alone and there are people helping but still.

Im going to attempt to ask my grandparents for a car. I dont really know how to go about asking them. I know they would help if I was the only grandchild but they have 13 other grandchildren so yeah. I am going back to school I will need a job so I do need transportation and I cant really rely on public transportation. On the bright sid eof things I now know what i want to do with my life. I want to open a smoke shop in tucson. I wont be rich but I will be secure and thats all I really want out of life. Security and to be happy with great famiy and friends.

I have this strange urge to find my faith again. Ive been watching shows about religion, anti-christ, my favorite "Beyond the Da Vince Code." I remember going to church and even though I was a problem child while I was there I felt safe. I felt that I knbew answers to things i dont have answers to now. It's strange I grew up Catholic and went to Christian church which sends mixed messages. I think thats why I gave up on my Faith. I believe in a god. Not a god of fear as christians say. I believe in hat I want to believe in and I just wish there was a church where I could go once in awhile so I dont feel so powerless over everything that goes on in my life. I think god loves all of his children gay, straight, black, white, yadah yadah. I dunno...................